Error 404
by Magica Draconia
Summary: Welcome to the Auror Corps Technical Support. We thank you for your patience. An agent will be available shortly!


**Title:** Error 404

 **Author:** magika_draconia

 **Other pairings/threesome:** None

 **Rating:** Gen

 **Word count:** 1,350-ish

 **Content/Warning(s):** None

 **Prompt:** Non MAGIC AU. Tech support!HARRY. Annoyed and hates computers!SNAPE.

 **A/N:** One of these problems came from the website Not Always Right, and two came from my own experience (one from the tech side, one from the client side). In double-checking for the answer to one of those problems, I found it on (and from my own experience).

 **A/N2:** This site REALLY does not like the formatting for this story. So it doesn't look as it properly should. Apologies for that. This story is also on AO3, the way it _should_ look.

* * *

 _Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

 _An agent will be available to help you shortly._

 _Thanks for your patience!_

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Hi there, my name's Harry Potter. May I have your name?

 **You**

Severus Snape.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

All right, what can I help you with today?

 **You**

My computer will not turn on.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Okay. Have you checked all the powers cords are connected properly?

 **You**

I am not stupid.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

I never said you were, sir. It's just that sometimes power cords can become a bit…touchy, and need a bit of fiddling with before they work properly.

 **You**

…

 **You**

…

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Um, sir? Are you still there?

 _Are you sure you want to exit the chat?_

 _Thank you for visiting Auror Corps Technical Support!_

* * *

 _Auror Corps Technical Support_

 _Client Waiting On-Line_

 _Assigning to next available agent…_

 _Connected!_

 _You_

Hi there, my name's Harry Potter. May I take your name?

 **Client**

Severus Snape.

 _You_

Alrighty, what do you need help with today?

 **Client**

My screen is blue.

 _You_

Well, that doesn't sound good. Okay, was it blue immediately after you turned it on, or did it boot up first?

 **Client**

It was blue when it arrived.

 _You_

Ah, okay, so it never booted up at all?

 **Client**

It works fine. The screen is just blue.

 _You_

…

 _You_

Um, I think we may be talking at cross-purposes here. When you say it works fine but the screen is blue…?

 **Client**

I mean the screen is blue. I ordered a black one.

 _You_

…

 _You_

…

 _You_

Right. Okay. Silly question here, but did you peel the protective plastic off?

 **Client**

Of course I

 _Chat disconnected!_

 _Client has exited chat_

 _Agent returned to queue…_

* * *

 _Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

 _An agent will be available to help you shortly._

 _Thanks for your patience!_

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Hi there, my name's Harry Potter. May I have your name?

 **You**

Severus Snape.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Okay, what can I help you with today?

 **You**

My screen is constantly blocked by things popping up that won't go away. How do I get rid of them?

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Ooh, that's not good. What anti-virus are you using?

 **You**

What?

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Anti-virus. What anti-virus programme are you using?

 **You**

I have no idea. Whatever was on this machine when I bought it.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Ah, okay, I can look that up. What model is it?

 **You**

Hogwarts 1977.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

…

 _Auror Corps Technician_

…

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Um, wow, I wasn't aware we even sold that model anymore. Can I ask when you bought it? Do you know the date?

 **You**

1977.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

…

 _Auror Corps Technician_

…

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Right, okay, let me just check something with my manager. I'll just be a minute.

 **You**

I'll be waiting.

 **You**

…

 **You**

…

 **You**

…

 **You**

…

 **You**

For goodness sake! How long is this going to take?

 **You**

…

 **You**

…

 _Auror Corps Technician_

I'm very sorry about the wait, sir. I've been speaking with several of my colleagues and managers. Unfortunately, we don't offer support for that particular model any longer…

 **You**

And you call yourself support?!

 _Auror Corps Technician_

I really am very sorry, sir, but we stopped supporting that unit at least twenty years ago. To be honest, it's older than I am. Nobody here knows of any company that still works on them. I'm afraid your best bet now is to purchase a new unit with an accompanying anti-virus programme. Is there—

 _Are you sure you want to exit the chat?_

 _Thank you for visiting Auror Corps Technical Support!_

* * *

 _Auror Corps Technical Support_

 _Client Waiting On-Line_

 _Assigning to next available agent..._

 _Connected!_

 _You_

Good morning, my name is Harry Potter. Could I take your name?

 **Client**

Severus Snape.

("Oh, bloody hell!")

 _You_

And how can I help you today?

 **Client**

I cannot access my email.

 _You_

Okay, which email client are you with?

 **Client**

OwlPost

 _You_

Okay, let me just check our system, one minute.

 _You_

...

 _You_

I'm not seeing any problems cropping up at our end. Are you getting an error message?

 **Client**

It says OwlPost has unfortunately flown the coop, please try again later.

("Bugger!")

 _You_

Unfortunately, that's a problem with OwlPost's servers. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that. You'll just have to wait until it comes back up again.

 **Client**

And how long will that be?

 _You_

I'm afraid I can't answer that, sir.

 **Client**

Well, I'll check back with you in a couple of hours and see.

("Wha—?")

 _You_

Sir, really, there's no point—

 _Chat disconnected!_

 _Client has exited chat_

 _Agent returned to queue..._

("ARGGGHHHHH...!")

* * *

 _Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

 _An agent will be available to help you shortly._

 _Thanks for your patience!_

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Hello there, I'm Harry Potter. May I take your name, please?

 **You**

Severus Snape.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

And how can I help?

 **You**

I recently received a document from a colleague in Bethlehem, but when I try to edit the document, the text comes out all back to front.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Back to front? You mean it's going right-to-left, instead of the usual left-to-right?

 **You**

That is what I just said, is it not?

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Just double checking, sir. What kind of document is it?

 **You**

It's an article on the best way to mix—

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Ah, no, sorry, sir. I meant, what *type* of document is it? A Parchment document? Illuminate presentation? List-all spreadsheet?

 **You**

Oh. It's a simple Parchment document.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Okay, and have you tried copy and pasting the text over into a new document?

 **You**

I have. The same problem happens in the new document as well.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Have you tried copying it as plain text?

 **You**

What part of "I have tried copy and pasting" is confusing you, exactly?

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Sir, there's no need for that kind of attitude. I'm just trying to establish what steps you've already taken so that I don't go over them again. Now, since copying as plain text didn't work then I just need to go and check settings to see how I can help. I'll just be a moment. Do you know which Parchment version you're using?

 **You**

2013.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Alright. One moment, sir.

 **You**

Fine.

 **You**

...

 **You**

...

 **You**

...

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Okay, sir, sorry about the wait. I've got a step-by-step process here of how to fix the issue. Would you like me to go through it with you via the chat, or should I email the instructions to you?

 **You**

Email will do well enough.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Okay. I've sent the instructions to the email address we have on file for you. Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?

 **You**

Not at the moment, but I'm sure I'll be back when your instructions prove nonsensical.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

...

 _Auror Corps Technician_

...

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Alrighty, then. Have a good day, sir.

 **You**

Humph!

 _Are you sure you want to exit the chat?_

 _Thank you for visiting Auror Corps Technical Support!_

* * *

 _Welcome to Auror Corps Technical Support._

 _An agent will be available to help you shortly._

 _Thanks for your patience!_

 _Auror Corps Technician_

Hello, my name is Harry Potter. May I take your name, please?

 **You**

Severus Snape.

 _Auror Corps Technician_

And how ca—

 _We're very sorry, but it looks as though there's a problem with the Auror Corps Technical Support. Please refresh the page, or try again later!_

 _Error 404: Page Not Found_

 _Oops, the page that you're looking for either doesn't exist or may have moved!_  
 _Please try browsing from our main page_


End file.
